Madmann's blog: "Diary of a Madmann"

Hey all not sure who all reads this but im gonna askf for a lil help i am less than 6000 away from leveling was wondering if yall could help me out by leaving me a few rates and help me level by thursday.. if ya help me out ill return the favor of course.. Thanks

Not sure what im feeling about now juat kinda blank i guess not sad not happy just kinda out there like Sabbaths Planet Caravan (dl it if you havent head it thats how i feel lol) here are the lyrics We sail through endless skies stars shine like eyes the black night sighs The moon in silver trees falls down in tears light of the night The earth, a purple blaze of sapphire haze in orbit always While down below the trees bathed in cool breeze silver starlight breaks down the night And so we pass on by the crimson eye of great god Mars as we travel the universe Its a great song anyways back to me lol Still just blank im sure this will pass but man i really dont like this feeling

Quite frankly im tired of being a number so i weeded out my list you made it yay i added you cause we have something in common not to be a number on your list

I heard this song on a profile and made me remember how powerful this song really is message on voicemail:] Hi Justin! This is your mother. It is 2:33 on Monday afternoon. I was just calling to see how you were doing. You sounded really uptight last night, it made me a little nervous, and a little, well it made me nervous, but it sounded like you were nervous too. I just want to make sure you are really okay and wanted to see if you were checking in on your medication too. You know I love ya and take care honey. I know you're under a lot of pressure. See ya. Bye Bye! I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again? And will you never say that you loved me just to put it in my face? And will you never try to reach me? It is I that wanted space Hate me today Hate me tomorrow Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you Hate me in ways Yeah ways hard to swallow Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you I’m sober now for 3 whole months it’s one accomplishment that you helped me with The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won’t touch again In my sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take So I’ll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind Hate me today Hate me tomorrow Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you Hate me in ways Yeah ways hard to swallow Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made And like a baby boy I never was a man Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand And then I fell down yelling “Make it go away!” Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be And then she whispered “How can you do this to me?” Hate me today Hate me tomorrow Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you Hate me in ways Yeah ways hard to swallow Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you For you For you For you

Ok this has been on my mind a loooong time but i now have the Balls to ask Let me set this up A woman will start seeing a guy and things go well they may have there little quirks but anyway the guy starts treating the woman like shit is a complete dick and a scumbag... Now this woman finds a nicer guy to talk to but its nothing this guy listens to her gives his input.. She finds out that this guy would treat a woman like a princess and give her the world... But she is still with the dick and professes she can change him(when you cant change a tigers stripes) and keeps taking the mental abuse.. but they nice guy is left there w nothing.. My question to you ladies Why do you keep staying with the dicks? why do you like being treated bad Why dont you like that nice guy that would treat you with the proper respect you deserve? This boggles me

I close my eyes and I keep seeing things: Rainbow waterfalls, Sunny liquid dreams. Confusion creeps inside me rainin' down; Got to get to you, But I don't know how. Call me, call me, Let me know it's all right. Call me, call me, Don'cha think it's 'bout time? Please won't you call and... Ease my mind? Reasons... for me to find you. Peace of mind What can I do... ...to get me to you? I had your number quite some time ago, Back when we were young, But I had to go. Ten thousand years I've searched it seems and now, Got to get to you, Won't you tell me how? Call me, call me, Let me know you are there. Call me, call me, I wanna know you still care. C'mon now won't you... Ease my mind? Reasons for me to find you Peace of mind What can I do... ...to get me to you? C'mon now won't you... EASE MY MIND? REASONS FOR ME TO FIND YOU (For me to find...) PEACE OF MIND (Ease...) REASONS... FOR LIVING MY LIFE. Ease my mind... Reasons... for me to know you. Peace of mind What can I do... ...to get me to you?

True Boyfriend would: • Love you even when he isn't liking you at the moment* • Give you a card or send flowers just to say he loves you* • Hold your hair after you've drank to much* • Run his fingers through your hair when you have your head on his chest* • Compliment you even when your sick and look sick* • Give you his coat/shirt when he sees your goose bumps**** • Never give up on the relationship, always try talking and working things out* • Tell her she is important and there is more to her then sex**** • Lift her chin, look into her eyes, softly touch her face as you get closer and your lips meet with hers under a blanket of stars* • and,when she runs up at you crying...the first thing you say is..."who's ass am i beating today?" **** guys forward as : i'd be this boyfriend. girls forward as : a perfect boyfriend. if you don`t forward this in four minutes you will lose the one you love. if you do forward this in the next four minutes the one you love will : call you kiss you love you text you

My weekend was busy as all hell I had 2 gigs dj wise Saturday was a grad party We dont need no education...We dont need no thought Control... Schools out for Summer... Anyways was a good time lots of food to be eaten Me my boss and his wife stopped at Dq afterwords had some ice cream now ths was no ordnary dq it was a gas station/dq and what do we get to sit by? lol condoms.... Naughty Naugty.. Cute and horny tease tease tease me.. Sunday was Another car show went from 10- 4 was a long day but a good time

So i sit here not sure what im feeling.. its just like i m here and i cant feel anymore a few song lyrics pop into my head to better decribe it as music is a very powerful tool.. I hurt myself today To see if I still feel I focus on the pain The only thing that's real The needle tears a hold The old familiar sting Try to kill it all away But I remember everything... I keep moving on tho even tho i feel so blank.. Heh sometimes i wear a great mask of hiding my emotion but some times i dont.. but always remember I'm a soldier, these shoulder's hold up so much, they won't budge, i'll never fall or fold up, i'm a soldier, even if my collar bone's crush or crumble, I will never slip or stumble, But I sit here ans sometime i have no one to blame but myself... Desperado, why don't you come to your senses? Come down from your fences, open the gate It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you You better let somebody love you, before it's too late But before i go i have one request... Can Anybody Find Me Soime one to Love?

The first to admit - I’m a doomed drug addict And I always will be - hey man, don’t follow me No excuse for drug abuse Said these lines a thousand times Don’t want to live atrial fib - from neurosis, cerosis Please make me smile - if you learn from my trial Baby I’ll pay this price - maybe saving your life for ya I can’t state this point enough The pickup’s easy, but the put down’s rough Up the nose or tap a vein - no one else but you to blame I can’t believe I died last night - oh God I’m dead again I can’t believe I died last night - I’m fucking dead again Chemical joy turning thee paranoid Recently buried deep Greenwood Cemetery, now I had no pulse last time I checked I’d trade my life for self respect There are some things worse than death I can’t believe I died last night - oh God I’m dead again I can’t believe I died last night - I’m fucking dead again