KisS ThE BiRd's blog: "Funny shit!!!!!!"

deer santa: I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer Frend, BiLLy Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! Santa Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy Dear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build yourself a family with those? Santa Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door. Love, Susan Dear Susan, Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two words, Jim Beam. Santa Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys? Your friend, Thomas Dear Thomas, All the toys are made by little kids like you in China . Every year I give them a slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Santa P.S.Tell your mom she got the part. Long Dong Claus Dear Santa, Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica Dear Jessica, Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house. Santa Dear Santa , I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one? Timmy Timmy, That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting an ugly sweater again. Santa Dearest Santa , We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home? Love, Marky Mark, First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass kicked at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent, ghetto apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams, Santa

You are 90% Bisexual



You are very bisexual. The choice between guys and girls is often agonizing for you because you really don’t have a preference. But you always double up your chances every night for getting laid.

Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com

COPY AND PASTE THIS LINK AND VOTE FOR ME THERE .....AFTER YOU RATE MY BLOG....LOL..... http://lostcherry.com/viewimage.php?u=243392&albumid=80880&i=594624696

One day a woman walked into a tattoo parlor.She wanted a tattoo of Santa clause on her right thigh so she asked the artist how much he would charge.He said that will cost $50 and take about an hour.Well later when he was done she was happy and paid him for the job well done....The next day she went back and told him she wanted a tattoo of a turkey on her left thigh.He said ok and charged her the same amount and was done in the same amount of time...finally he said, whats with the wierd tatoos? And she replied, cause im so sick of my husband asking me whats to eat between thanksgiving and christmas!

If a bitch with big tits works at Hooters should a bitch with one leg work at Ihop?

www.richstevens.com/NAKED.swf

http://vili.us/hypno.html