You will probably never read this but I don't care I have to let this out.
I sit here and know I may never see you even though we talk everyday by phone but your so far away. You are such a good friend I have told you things I would never tell anyone else. When I was scared and frighten you told me it would be fine. You lectured me when I didn't want it and advice me even though it would make me angry sometimes. In the end you could always make me smile when I felt at my worst.
We are after all just friends and that is what I promised we would only be friends but I find myself so confused lately. I dont know what it is or maybe I do and dont want to accept it. Maybe I just care much more then I think I do.
I know your trying to find love with someone close by and everyday I encourge you. That she's out there and you will find her even though I find myself smiling on the outside my heart is breaking on the inside. You do the same for me telling me he's out there to go out and find him but sometimes I think I already have.
As I sit here and hope it's just a crush that I'll get over it. I can't help but shed a few tears because I wished so hard for someone like you only to have you so out of reach. Knowing that one day you really are going to find her and it's not going to be me.
Why is it you always want what you can't have even though you're willing to fight for it with all your heart.
