babyjessraiders Club FAR's blog: "My husband"

Have you ever wondered where your path in life was supposed to lead you or about the hand that fait will deal you when it is your time to come. I have met people in my life that have truly changed me and made me think about my life in a new way or made me long for something more then what I had. Sometimes I think to myself did I settle for less then what I should have. I often wonder if I have paid for my sins in more ways then one. And if I will ever find that one true place where I belonge. I have made choices in life that I now know where not the smartest of choices but I have managed to live with the consequinces of them. I have also realized taht sometimes life is not always fair. And that the decisons we will make today will affect our lives tommorow and forever to come. And the decisons we made in the past are what have scalpted our lives today. I let a good friend go and wonder if that will haunt me forever. I have lost many who in my mind heart and sould I knew where there to stay. My path in life has helped a few and even hurt a few but the one who pays most of all is myself and my heart. I wonder where my path in life will end. And I will someday find that one true happiness that I belonge. And what choices I make tommorow that will build my future or that could possibly end it all forever. There are some people out there that this will touch and some that it is even directed towards. For those of you who know who you are just know that I love you and think about the way that you have helped me. And I in turn hope that I to have helped you and remember that you will never be forgotten so if we shall never talk again remeber me. As I will do the same for you.

As I sit up on those cold dark nights and stare at my son who sleeps so soundly and I think about what a precious lil gift that God has given me I think to myself, what did I do to deserve such a wonderful gift. I take a glance at my lil girls who sleep so soundly and just wonder where there innocene comes from and I think to myself if only I was still so young and full of life. I stress the daily problems that every adult faces and I just hope that when my children are grown and raising their children it will be some what easier on them and none of them will have to life life the way that I have lived mine and that they will not have to bury one of their children or sit back helpless while their husbands suffers from a disease that the doctors cannot give a sure answere on wheither or not he will come home from the hospital the next time. And if he will get the treatments that he needs before its too late.

There's been alot of talk about angels these days and about all the things people say they can do. It's not always easy to know what to believe but it certainly would be nice to have a few angels in our lives. I picture them as being near us day and night and especially whenever life seems trying and difficult. I to like think that angels are taking special care of you always you may not see them but they are there. I hope that you can feel their gentle hand upon your shoulder day and night. I have a lil boy who is my angel he is what gives me momentum to cary on even when my life seems like its shambles. When my husbands sick and in the hospital my little boy sits beside me and gives me a soft hand and shoulder to cry on just because he is not present in mind body and soul he is there I just cant see him but I can feel the minute he walks into the room. Yeah you can call me crazy but I feel a sense of his presence when he is beside me. To my son I miss you lil man

I finished my first course in school and passed with a B so I am really excited and proud of myself cause it was no easy class. But in order to proceed with my assoicates in Criminal Justice I had to take the class

Ghost in the window Tell me where did you go so many years ago I saw how peaceful you were when you slipped away I wasnt ready to execpt it but i was only so young and i didtn know what was wrong I was told mommy has a booboo shes going to be away awhile she said mommy is going to sleep but some day we will be together again grandma was sad when she told us she still cries for you it makes me sad to even thing about it thirteen years ago I watched you die I sometimes sit in my cell adn think about you mommy your baby girl needs you? your my ghost in the wind

so many people take life for granted for so long i did i alwansy wanted things to go my way all my life i wanted people to cater to my needs but in the ent i only hurt them at times i knew what i wanted but always did things nobody expected me to do i very seldom felt good about myself i hated everythign about who I was i never saw myself depressed deep down insidei was heartbroken i was filled with hate i want my family back together

mY LOVE FOR YOU My love for you i LOVE YOU MORE THAN WORDS CAN EXPLAIN, EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE NOT HERE TO HOLD AND SMILE AT I HAVE A PLACE FOR YOU IN MY HEART THAT NO OTHER WILL BE EVER ABLE TO FILL. YOU WERE MY SON AND MY PRIDE AND JOY. i MISS HOLDING YOU AND SEEING YOUR SWEET SMILING FACE i WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOUR MOMMY LOVES AND MISSES YOU YOU MY SON HAVE MY LOVE FOREVER AND ALWAYS

The Loneliness I sit here all alone While the one I love runs and does as he pleases, and acts as if there are no cares in the world to him. Will his two daughters sit and cry for their dad who could care less. As the loneliness builds up inside and theres nothing I can say or do that would make him want to change even the death of our son. He thinks as if the world owes him. But the ones who suffer are me and the kids and the unborn baby. And I wonder if I will ever have the courage to get out before it gets any worse. What will help over come the loneliness? Will the child I carry help that lonliness? still remain.

I am the flag of the United States of America. My name is Old Glory. I fly atop the world's tallest buildings. I stand watch in America's halls of justice. I fly majestically over institutions of learning. I stand guard with power in the world. Look up and see me. I stand for peace, honor, truth and justice. I stand for freedom. I am confident. I am arrogant. I am proud. When I am flown with my fellow banners, My head is a little higher, My colors a little truer. I bow to no one! I am recognized all over the world. I am worshipped - I am saluted. I am loved - I am revered. I am respected - and I am feared. I have fought in every battle of every war for more then 200 years. I was flown at Valley Forge, Gettysburg, Shiloh and Appomattox. I was there at San Juan Hill, the trenches of France, in the Argonne Forest, Anzio, Rome and the beaches of Normandy. Guam, Okinawa, Korea and KheSan, Saigon, Vietnam know me. I'm presently in the mountains of Afganistan and the hot and dusty deserts of Iraq and wherever freedom is needed. I led my troops, I was dirty, battleworn and tired, But my soldiers cheered me and I was proud. I have been burned, torn and trampled on the streets of countries I have helped set free. It does not hurt for I am invincible. I have been soiled upon, burned, torn and trampled in the streets of my country. And when it's done by those Whom I've served in battle - it hurts. But I shall overcome - for I am strong. I have slipped the bonds of Earth and stood watch over the uncharted frontiers of space from my vantage point on the moon. I have borne silent witness to all of America's finest hours. But my finest hours are yet to come. When I am torn into strips and used as bandages for my wounded comrades on the battlefield, When I am flown at half-mast to honor my soldier, Or when I lie in the trembling arms of a grieving parent at the grave of their fallen son or daughter, I am proud. Please forward my message to all who still love and respect me that I may fly proudly for another two hundred years.

Letter From the Devil This can really make you think. It actually made me mad while I was reading it, but I had to send it because of the P.S. This is deep.. and I wasn't going to forward or share it, but that last line... you'll see. A LETTER TO YOU FROM SATAN I saw you yesterday as you began your daily chores. You awoke without kneeling to pray. As a matter of fact, you didn't even bless your meals, or pray before going to bed last night. You are so unthankful, I like that about you. I cannot tell you how glad I m that you have not changed your way of living, you are mine. Remember,you and I have been going steady for years. and I still don't love you yet. He kicked me out of heaven, and I'm going to use you as long as &nbs p; ;possible to pay him back. You see, Fool, GOD LOVES YOU and HE has great plans in store for you. But you have yielded your life to me, and I'm going to make your life a living hell. That way, we'll be together twice. This will really hurt God. Thanks to you, I'm really showing Him who's boss in your life with all of the good times we've had. We have been cursing people out, stealing, lying, being hypocritical, fornicating, overeating, telling dirty jokes, gossiping, being judgmental, back s t abbing people, disrespecting adults, and those in leadership positions, no respect for the Church, bad attitudes. SURELY you don't want to give all this up. Come on, let's burn together forever. I've got some hot plans for us. This is just a letter of appreciation from me to you. I'd like to say "THANKS" for letting me use you for most of your foolish life. You are so gullible, I laugh at you. When you are tempted to sin, you give in HA HA HA, you make me sick. Sin is beginni n g to take it's toll on your life. You look 20 years older, and now, I need new blood. So go ahead and teach your children how to sin. All you have to do is smoke, get drunk, cheat, gamble, gossip, fornicate, and live being as selfish as possible. Do all of this in the presence of children and they will do it too. Kids are like that. Well, I have to let you go for now. I'll be back in a couple of seconds to tempt you again. If you ;were smart, you would run somewhere, confess you sins, live for God with what little bit of life that you have left. It's not my nature to warn anyone, but to be your age and still sinning, it's becoming a bit ridiculous. Don't get me wrong, I still hate you. P.S. If you really love me, you won't share this letter with anyone.