Rachwoman's blog: "My thoughts over a year later"

Dear Santa, I just would like to thank you Santa for listening this year. He is the greatest guy I think I girl could ask for. He makes me feel like a princess and for the first time in my life I'm really happy so happy in fact I think I'm going to start painting again for he has put back all that I thought I lost in my life. He gives me hope that each day will be better. I feel so beautiful when he is around me and I've never felt like that before. Geez Santa I'm even letting my nails grow for the first time ever for this one so you know he makes me happpy. But anyway thank you Santa again for putting Scott in my life and I'll be sure to stay a good girl so you don't take him back lol Thanks again, Rachel P.S. Thanks also for not bringing that Panic and the Disco CD you are the greatest

Dear Santa, As I'm sure you know I have been a really good girl this year. I didn't kick that girl's ass that was blowing up my chickens in the oven at work, I didn't even get ulgy with that lady that no matter how thin I cut her cold cuts they just aren't thin enough. I'm sure you know I wanted to. Being that I didn't go postal at work or send out hate email to headquarters would you please place under my tree A GOOD MAN! Santa I want a man that will hold me when I've had a bad day. Someone who will surprise me with flowers at work or send me text messages of sweet nothings just to let me know at that moment they thought of me. A good man that will love me for me and not what is under my cloths. One that will love kids and could put up with Linnea cause we all know she is me all over again. A good knowledge of Horror is a plus cause we will need something to watch together. Being that I'm scared of the dark he has to like holding me tight at night and check for the boogie man when I'm scared. Santa when you go looking for my man remember that it isn't the size of the wallet it is the size of the heart that matters. Good luck finding this gift for me I know I've looked for years. Thanks for taking the time to read this Santa for I know you are really busy this time of year. I will have cookies for you and grain for the raindeer waiting Christmas eve. Much Love, Rachel P.S. Linnea asked me to remind you about that Panic at the Disco CD but you really don't have to bring it, think of it as an extra gift for me.

ALONE By Edgar Allan Poe From childhood's hour I have not been As others were-I have not seen As others saw-I could not bring My passions from a common spring. From the same source I have not taken My sorrow; I could not awaken My heart to joy at the same tone; And all I lov'd, I lov'd alone. Then- in my childhood-in the dawn Of a most stormy life-was drawn From ev'ry depth of good and ill The mystery which binds me still: From the torrent, or the fountain, From the red cliff of the mountain, From the sun that 'round me roll'd In its autumn tint of gold- From the lightning in the sky As it pass'd me flying by- From the thunder and the storm, And the cloud that took the form (When the rest of Heaven was blue) Of a demon in my view.

October 19th 2006 What the hell this has been a week for man issues. I think that I sould just become a nun and not have to worry about it anymore. I just don't think I can handle another shocker from a guy this week. Rudy, Iggy and Marty have my head so screwed up I don't know where to go. I'll start off with Rudy, great guy really, one of my best friends in life and he deides to tell me that he is madly in love with me. Not in the just friends sort of way but the whole thing. That he has been in love with me since we met 3 years ago. So now I'm like great there goes another friend cause really I don't think I could look him in the eye right now without thinking the thoughts that he told me he had about me. He got really vivid with that, way to much information. Now to the lord of the jack asses Iggy who today drives all the way out here unanounced to visit me. Now I haven't seen nor heard from him in about 6 months and now all of a sudden he wants me to move back to New Orleans with him like nothing ever happened. Yeah Right!!! Like I really want to hook up with someone who left me alone in my time of need. So he drives out here take Linnea and I to diner and the bookstore the whole time he is carring on like we were still a couple and everything. All I could think was this man has lost his mind who does he think he is. I don't think I've ever wanted to spit in someones face as much as I did today. Bastard. On to the one I'm with Marty. I love this guy I really do with all my heart but this relationship is killing me. We hardly talk anymore which sucks it has been 3 weeks since we've seen one another and the just plain being lonely drives me insane. I hope this works out with him I really do he makes me so happy but I feel like we just can't get it together. All I can think of is the piece of advice my best friend in the whole world told me years ago: Alice came to a fork in the road and there she saw the cheser cat sitting in a tree. She asked the cheser cat what way should she take? The cheser cat asked Alice where do you want to go? Alice responded I don't know. The Cheser cat said then what does it matter. A quote from Alice in Wonderland in Ryan's own words. So I'm sitting at the fork in the road not knowing where to go and not having the slightest clue on where I'm going to end up.

Each player of this game starts with 6 weird things or habits about themselves. People who are tagged should write a blog with their own 6 weird things or habits, and state this rule clearly. Choose 6 people to be tagged, list their names, leave them a comment and tell them they are tagged and to check your blog for details. It's fun! 1) I think I'm fat so I watch what and how much I eat 2) I bite my nails to the point of bleeding 3) I love classical music and love to play the panio 4) I pore myself into work way to much 5) I hate cockroaches they are the spawn of Satan they make me scream like a little wussy girl 6) I always wanted to be a ballet dancer Now who to tag.. Unknown Jim Beam Rowdy Stalker101 Dumb Shit Ass Wookie

Today I get to work and start to do my order for the weekend no big deal the Thursday morning rutial when over the P.A. a paniced voice is calling for the co manager and the meat guys to get up front so I'm thinking your run of the mill shoplifter and being that I'm a member of management I had up front. Well outside there is a fight breaking out between the front end manager and some people. Come to find out those people hit our manager with their car a flung her. Oh keep reading it gets better... After talking to the cops and the co manager I found out that this started about 3 miles away at a roach motel called the Plantation inn. This guy picked up a hooker the hooker turns out to be a Transvestite so the guy goes and gets his computer to video tape this randioux. Well after the goings on in the hotel and it was time to pay the trans the guy goes to leave and the fight begains. The guy graps his computer and gets in his car and goes to leave then the trans get on the hood of the car hanging on my the wiper blades and they ride down the street yelling and carrying on throughh the windshield. The guy stops at the State Troopers station right down the street from my store but low and behold his horn didn't work so I guess he figured go to Winn Dixie they will help me there so he pulls into the WD parking lot with a car full of computer equipment with tanted goods on it and a transvestite hooker on his hood. I'm telling you this was insainly funny. So the guy gets out of the car our Front end manager sees what is going on and goes over there to call the police as she is standing behind the car the trans gets in the car and backs into the FEM knocking her a few feet. Well she don't do anything but get up and pull the trans out of the car and gets into a fight with the he/she. I'm telling you I thought I was crazy but I don't have anything on her. Then shortly after the meet guy almost cut his finger off. Blood and guts everywhere But I do have 1 good thing happen today my brand new convection oven came in so work just got a lot easier. I will put those pics up shortly I'm sure. And remember when you think your day is insane think of the life of those that work in a grocery store

Please forgive me on the spelling I can't spell or type but I figure for closeing purposes I'll but this out there. I'm finally finished with all of the mental issues Katrina has brought me and as I need to vent here we go... 1st off let me say thanks to the town of Jonesville, La these people really are angels on earth. Now to everthing else. Let me start by saying FUCK YOU FEMA and your $4200. Let me put that in perspective for you. $4200 to pay rent buy cloths for me and my Daughter as well as food. I did get the emergancey food stamps but that was only for the first 3 months. Also I would love to take this moment to say FUCK You to our president G.W. we can rebuild nations elsewhere but I can't get my neighborhood rebuilt. Good job on that one! Also can someone tell me why people where left to die for almost a week? Good job on that too really protecting the citizens of this nation. I would also like to give a big FUCK YOU to Winn Dixie when I called my employer to tell them I was ok and where I was at and asked them what I should do for my job they gave me a 1 900 number to a physic. Once again you lived up to the name Winn Dick Me!!! For the biggest FUCK YOU of all I think goes to my ex Iggy for he cared so much to leave me in Jonesville by myself with my Little girl May you fall off of a FUCKING BARGE oh wait my you EAT SHIT then Fall off a FUCKING barge. Now that that is off my chest... Everything happens for a reason. I guess in my life I needed Katrina to happen to get me back on the path I needed to be on. I chilled out drinking, better position at work, and a better commuinity for Linnea to be in. So the bars in Layafette close at 2 instead of the 5 am on the week days and never on the weekends. So the people out here talk funny maybe I too will get that sexy cajun accent. Lord knows I should have listened to my friends and ditched Iggy long before all of this happened I guess if I was sober I would have realized how much getting treated like shit really did suck plus my baby makes me feel like a princess so I could never go back to being treated like shit ever again. Although out here I keep to myself only because I didn't want to give Layafette a chance but I think now I will. So here is to the future and whatever it may bring although New Orleans will always be dear to my heart I think I will call Layafette home for now