My worst fear in life is that I will finally break,
that there won't be any more smiles that I can fake.
That everyone will finally see the chaos that rages within
and the downward spiral will finally begin.
I've worn this imaginary armor for far to long,
I've portrayed this illusion beyond when the real smiles were gone.
I do it for the world I don't need your sympatric hands;
I do it for myself I may be broken but my soul still stands.
I've fought the wars of life and love and my battle rages on,
I'll wear my mask of courage long after it's really gone.
I have fallen to my knees but you've never seen me fall,
I've cried tears of pain even though they were tears you never saw.
I've trekked the never ending mountain and I'm still driving on,
Even if it's with unsure feet like a new born learning fawn.
My worst fear in life is that I will finally break,
when I can't hide it all and I run out of smiles I can fake.
Who are you to judge my way?
You are not the gods you want to portray.
You are not the ones who gave me life;
you are not the ones that heal my strife.
You are not the ones that gave me breath;
you are not the ones that will deliver me to death.
You are not the ones that gave me sight;
you are not the ones to decide if I am right.
You are not the ones that see my dreams;
you are not the ones that sew my seams.
You are not the ones who write my story;
you are not the ones who decide my glory.
You are not the ones who break my stride;
you are not the ones that take my pride.
You are not the ones that cause propriety,
But you are what we all must face you are what I call society
I just wanted to take a moment to apologize for the past,
my one regret in life is that we couldn't make it last.
We both walked away our hands stained in loves blood,
but to this day my heart is consumed by you like a raging flood.
I can not speak for you but in my heart our love is was true,
And would never stop no matter what we would do.
I want to take a moment to apologize for the past,
my one regret in life is that we did not LET it last.
I may not have always been there or said what I should have said,
But I was not always speaking from my heart I often used my head.
My intentions were not always pure but were never bad;
one thing that always broke my heart was to see you sad.
You too have your part you played in making this so hard,
I don't blame you for trying to protect yourself and keeping your heart barred.
I am to far past trying to place blame for why we didn't last,
I just want to apologize and forget about the bad scenes of our past.
So now that it's been said know that it was the last,
you are the only one that can change if we have a future or just the past.
Take a look around you, what is it that you see?
Is it everything you want is it everything you hoped it would be?
Take a look around you has life passed you by?
Does it seem like you can't catch up no matter how hard you try?
Take a look around you do you see the people that really care? Or does love bring some pain that you simply can not bare?
Take a look around you, can you see through the shattered dreams?
Or are you stuck upon them hoping it isn't what it seems?
Take a look around you, what is it that clouds your mind?
Is it that you search for answers that you never seem to find?
Take a look around you, what is it that you see?
Look deep through all the chaos and there with out reached arms you will find me
can't take the pain you cause and the hatred that you send.
It's been a long time since we have both agreed,
I've told you time and time again but my words you fail to heed.
I've told you to let go, to forget about what's been done,
I've told you that you can't get away no matter how far you run.
I've told you that this relationship that we have is not going to work for me,
I've told you that as long as you hold on to pain I will never be free.
I've told you how lost I've been because you fail to pave the way,
I've told you that without faith happiness can't stay.
I've told you every thing that I feel is because you,
I've told you time and time again that what you think isn't true.
I've told you that only together will everything be alright,
I've told you that until we are it will be another restless night.
Here I sit again wandering, wondering waiting to be free,
Mind are you listening? It's your soul talking are you listening to me?
Death, love and friendship are to me, the three most important things in life. In order to have full life you must have all of these in your heart.
Friendship is I think the most important. It gives you a feeling trust and a mutual caring. True friendship is a bond shared by few. This bond stronger than that in love in that it can be tested but is hard to break. True friendship will go on through eternity.
Love is the second. Love can be the greatest feeling in the world and can make you eternally happy but with love there comes sadness and heartache. True love is something that can only be shared by the strongest of souls who are both ready to give themselves for the other.
Death is the purifier of life. Death takes you from an imperfect world of unreal wishes, false hopes, and shattered dreams, to a perfect world of infinite love and friendship. Death cleanses you of the turmoil and chaos of your mind; it filters out all the bad memories and sends you along the way with what happiness your life has given you.
I WONT BE LEFT BEHIND
I run my fastest but I still get beat.
I land on my head when I should be on my feet.
I try to move forward, but I'm stuck in rewind
Why do I keep at it?
I WON'T BE LEFT BEHIND
The harder I am thrown, the harger I bounce.
I give it my all, and thats all that counts.
In first place, myself, I seldom find.
So I push to the limit-
I WON'T BE LEFT BEHIND
Some people tell me u can't, some say don't.
Some simply give up, I reply I won't.
The power is here, locked away in my mind.
My perseverace is my excellence.
I WON'T BE LEFT BEHIND
Make the best of each moment,
The future is soon the past,
The more I tell myself this, the less I come in last.
Throughout my competitions, I've learned what winnings about,
A plain and clear lesson.
Giving up is the easy way out.
So everynight before I go to bed, I hope in a small way I have shined.
And now u know....
I WON'T BE LEFT BEHIND
I keep my paintbrush with me, wherever I may go. In case I need to cover up, so the real me doesn't show. I'm so afraid to show u me, afraid of what u'll do. I'm afraid u'll laugh or say mean things, afraid I might lose u. I'd like to remove all the layers, to show u the true me, but I want u to try to understand, I need u to like what u see. So if u'll be patient and close ur eyes. I'll remove the coats real slow. Please understand how much it hurts, to let the real me show, Now that my coats are all stripped off, I feel naked, bare and cold, and if u still find me pleasing, u are my friend, pure as gold. I need to save my paint brush tho, and hold it in my hand, I need to keep it handy in case someone doesn't understand, so please protect me my dear friend and thanks for loving me true and please let me keep my paintbrush with me until I love me too.
These are my thoughts and my opinions and are shared by no one else because these are a product of my life and my mind. Reading these thoughts only scratches the surface of who I am.
