Impossible Me's blog: "Poetry"

Reflections, Just a lie painted with the resemblence of the person I long to be. She is not my mirror image. Not but a shell, a fragment of who I really am. Just a false apparition who appears when reality is to sour. When I see her in the shattered image of myself. I long for green eyes to see me. for olive skin to embrace me. How could I bring her here? How could she teach me to smile? Could she ever understand who she really is, deep in this abyss? Two sides of the same mirror. Silvers and blacks, melding into one image that never made any sense to those who surround her. There was once one, who knew her who bore her spirit, who shared my indifference. Who created her and I as a whole Identity. Who understood. He left with the whispers of the fall. taking the binds that held her and I as one. shattering the looking glass and leaving us to seperate the realities. I am left to wander the darkenss which engulfs the rooms which he once filled. I am left to strip the garbs of his broad humility.while she is left to smile. She stares into the looking glass. Emerald eyes shining. Raven hair pulled high. From here I can taste her lies. I can smell her pain. Just a reflection which is a lie.

Fallen, burned and reduced to the tear that stains your pale bitter cheek. I am but an angel on who you placed your hopes I'm not what you seek. look into the confusion. shhhh close your eyes, you'll see from where I come. I am the madness, the terror the love from which you could never run. Take my hand, dance the circle, play the game, Just make up your mind. Count the seconds, they rush past blending to minutes, you can never stop time. You can't take back the dreams and you can't unbreak promises. You could never say no. My possesion, is nothing but a place inside my heart in which I dare to go. Don't twist my words. confuse my meanings, then miss my value in this dream. The mirror shatter, tears fall and from your heart one final scream.

Backing away from the light that bleeds from the doorway I find myself hovering on edge. No one to stop me as I spread my arms and fall. Losing myself, risking it all as i slowly slip away. I scream out,If only you'd catch me. If only you'd break my fall. But you can't see me anymore. The wind rips at me as I come closer to her grip. Tearing away pain, Stealing the sorrow I made. I can bear no more, Move on and take with you the madness, the anger the semi angelical glances. It is done. I fall no more, for no one. I wake here on the edge of fantasy, Where I am changed. I am free from realistic doubt. Up there on that ledge, from where I was pushed. You stand smiling in false hope. All you did was break my fall.

Why am I so cold while you paint wretched yellow pictures on a wall of this old stagnant room? And you contemplate suicide as I dream of red roses and rainy nights in grey. And I say shoot, pull the trigger, so I may smile in my self indulgence. cry while you rot. You turn the barrell at my sunken face, I smile, and think only you could blow me away. You turn and paint your nails, the color of oil the color of our dirty love, pitch black. Biting my bloody lips I ignore the whim to slap your sullen face, to scratch away the filth. I lie on twisted black satin and watch as you paint wretched yellow pictures.

When it was August the heat swarmed a promise that would be broken before it was spoken. And my emotions lie in turmoil at the feet of a calculated man that had no dreams a man with no smile. I had lost a will that seemed never to be my own. I had given the keys to my very own prison.locked away. there was never a moment when I thought to stray from his entangled wrath I watched only in pain. What was I fighting? the strategy was clear but the reward was something to lose. I am only happy I did. For in April, there is a light that melted my bitter heart, kissed my frozen lips and found a lost soul.

I dance when no one is looking, a dance of sorrow, Head held low hands to the bright harvest moon. No joy, to dance in glee. just hopeless circles of a life passed by and a moment forgotten. I write when no one is reading, words of truth, believed to be words of some hellish fiction. No lies or fables to be told when, the skin still bears the scars of her own begotten torment. I sing when there isn't a soul to listen, The only way out of a path beaten by whip and fists of anger. A waste to share this burden when no one is there to share. you take from this well when it has been empty for years. And it hurts, more then the moment when the flesh was opened at the surface, more then the moment her love failed. I envy not the gentle touch it is a lie that will pass with the angry moment, where control is lost, and then dismissed. I long no more for that love, That to will seep through empty fingers and only rise in pain. lies from which I cringe. The terror played over and over years after she has forgotten. after the apologies spilled forth from an empty beer can, crushed. The worthless child, still that, and she places her anger in the mind of one who still could have loved. one who still could have been, Happy. So I cry when no one listens, and in the night, I wonder why this pain won't go away, why it haunts me. but no one hears, because no one listens.

Theres this heart, somewhere in this cold, hollow tomb. That once beat, violently and hot. That once loved with such a passion leaving want behind. In these now freezing veins of mercury, once ran warmth kissed with belief and hope. Lies have taken from me, the care , the worries, and any hope I may have once had. Be still now, life has moved so quickly I can't keep up. The pages turning rapidly 'neath quaking fingers that blur the words ever so violently. Do they see me? Do they see me as I lay here on this cold night without stars? Slipping further from my own control, losing grip. Were there tears shed for my departure? Do any of them remember the entity I once was? When I was young and sure of myself. The wind rushes through my hair and I see life as it once was. In that place where the sun smiled brightly on bronze skin,Was this my own life once? And I laugh now in bitter apathy, The world watches and applauds as the words tumble now from lips that have quieted the truth so long ago.Where secrets never depart. They watch as I stumble to the floor of this disheartened stage and when my body lies still, they stand in ovation for a granduer act performed. And I slip away with them watching. The crowd exits and again I am alone beneath a starless sky, With the cold north wind, calling my name. And a crimson river crying to the stones 'neath raven hair , hazel eyes and forgotten skin The last breath sighs and the night is forever closed around my immortal dreams.No more pain, no more confusion to wrap around my sketchy mind, no more forgiveness, it is done.

I'm not like you. My world is dark, and shadowed by rolling clouds of doubt. Everyday I struggle to rise above a false passion that forces me to bleeding knees I am offered smiles true and bright, that I turn into malicious grins and in my world, it's true I laugh and they laugh with me, never knowing beneath the surface fire rages, consuming my soul. And it's dark here in my eternal winter, where the chill eats at yearning bones, that never left an empty past. Every moment suffocated by a memory of pain and humiliating emotions, I am emptied by my own thoughts. I can see the sun beyond the ridge, never reaching her light, rejoicing early but failing to succeed. And in my world it is lonely When there are people here to console my devastated soul, yet I am always lost.

There were mornings when I woke to your brown eyes Smiling at me from beneath Clean sheets and filtered Sunlight. And there were nights when You stole my breath with Your words of admiration, Under full white August Moon. And there were times when We would talk in the lucid Candelight , the world around Us just a translucent quiet Reality. Nothing could have wavered My love for you, not the sun, Not, the rain nor the gossip That the world spoke when we Didnt hear. It was you and it was me and There was music and poetry. And always there was the night Never closing in, just embracing Emotion. Where did you go? Why am I Alone dancing only with the Stars, which you have long Forgotten in the midst of your Anger? Is it true? That you could not Love me? I know you could, I felt it, I tasted it , or was it Nothing but a sweet dream That is lost? When I lost you, I lost me. Abandoned on a port lost In trivial seas of bitter sorrow. Left alone, with no life line To pull me back. I pick up the phone to call But listen only to the empty Line, empty like my life after You sailed from my weeping Arms. No words come these days , No poetry that does not force Me to shed a tear, for the time I spent in your precious, dark Solitude.

Somwhere in the west beyond Glaciers glimmering white, Beyond cities of modern suffocation and delerium, settled upon rocky beaches that kiss only the waves and the forgotten creatures that wash upon it's hearth. This is where you'll find "the Road" as the locals may call her, Winding desperatly to find her ending, somwhere between a seashore and an eternal green forest. Her shoulders covered in the emerald moss that claims the trees and the earth surrounding. Though "the Road" may go nowhere she is well versed and well traveled. She listens quietly as the youth, entwine unskilled fingers in tangled hair And on those bright summer days that never actually become summer she is trampled by visitors who laugh shunnigly at her length. But still it watches as the winter sun never rises and in the spring weddings march down to her chapel. Late at night when Juneau rests peacefully in her mirth "The Road" laughs for she is the heart to the beauty of this place. She will show you The foaming green glacial waters, And Dolphins at play, She will embrace you in angelic forests where Devils paw lay. In her brief stretch she can show you the world, If you'll only let her lead.