pibcak's blog: "Rambelings of a Yeti"

Hey everyone! Its spring, and that means that the snow is melting, the sun is up for 13+ hours a day and getting longer, and its time for the hibernators to exchange the cold glow of the computer screen for actual sunlite, snowmachining and canoing and hiking and such. As Fairbanks thaws, so do many of the ladies. It is the season for ladies showing some skin and working the hustle. It can be so cold here in the winter that no one goes out with exposed skin. I have been sitting in class before, losing intrest, when I will catch a glimpse of a girl's ankle- a small strip of skin between sock and pant leg. It will be white and pasty, unshaven for months, and it will be the sexiest thing I have seen all year! ;) Anyway, I am finding myself more distracted by the great outdoors now that its not -40 F and dark, so I hope that all of my new CT frineds will forgive me for my great streches of inactivity online! I cant help it- I have 3 months of nice weather and 9 months of snow and ice. I wont forget you. You know who you are.

For anyone whos paying attention, sorry I have been absent from CT all weekend. I am working on a project at work that keeps me away from my computer, and on top of that I got an Xbox 360 this weekend, and that has been consuming an awful lot of my "free" time! But I will be back in full force soon!

One day a man walked in a bar with a box. He sat down, opened the box and out popped a leprechaun. The man told the bartender, "I want a Rolling Rock and a shot of whiskey for my buddy here." There was man sitting at the end of the bar watching all of this and, after the leprechaun drank his shot of whiskey, he ran down to the end of the bar and spit in the guy's face. Then he ran back. The guy with the box said, "I'll have another Rolling Rock and a shot of whiskey for my buddy here." After the leprechaun drank his shot of whiskey, he again ran to the end of the bar and spit in the man's face, then dashed back. The guy with the box ordered another beer for himself and another shot for the leprechaun. Again, the after the leprechaun drank his shot of whiskey, he ran down to the end of the bar. But this time the man was waiting for him and he grabbed the leprechaun and held him in the air. He said, "If you spit in my face again, I'm going to cut your pecker off." The leprechaun laughed and said, "Leprechauns don't have peckers." Then the man said, "If you don't have peckers, then how do you pee?" "By spitting," said the leprechaun. -------------------------------------------------- These three English guys are out drinking one night and decide that they want to have a fight. They stagger from pub to pub looking for a likely victim to pick on when they come across a single Irishman in this one bar. "Watch this." Says the first Englishman, heading over toward the guy, "I here that St Patrick was a shift lifter." "Really." Says the Irishman, calmly continuing to drink. With that the second English guy decides to join in, "Yeah, and here he was a pervert too." "Is that so?" the still calm Irishman responds. "I know how to rile this tosser." Says the third Englishman, staggering toward the Irishman, "Hey, did you know St Patrick was really an Englishman?" The Irish guy casually looks up and says, "Yeah, so your mates were telling me." --------------------------------------------------

See, when I meet new people- ok, girls- and we add as friends, a lot of times I wind up checking out their NSFW picts. Of course- I am a man, after all. But then I am also intersted in actually making connections with some of them. But after you have seen someone naked on the internet, how do you approach them without coming off as a perv? Its like making out with a stranger at a bar... ands then finding out the next day that you cant stop thinking about them. If I say someone is beautiful with thier clothes on it is way different than saying it while they are naked. Espically when its in TEXT and conveys no real emotion other than a silly emoticon;) Sorry about the typos, my cat is occupying my lap and therefore the laptop is not. On top of my lap that is. Nevermind.

Nerd Porn Auteur by Ernest Cline I've noticed that there don't seem to be any porno movies that are made for guys like me. All the porn I've come across was targeted at beer-swilling sports bar dwelling alpha-males Men who like their women stupid and submissive Men who can only get it up for monosyllabic cock-hungry nymphos with gargantuan breasts and a three-word vocabulary Adult films are populated with these collagen-injected liposuctioned women Many of whom have resorted to surgery and self-mutilation in an attempt to look the way they have been told to look. These aren't real women. They're objects. And these movies aren't erotic. They're pathetic. These vacuum-headed fuck bunnies don't turn me on. They disgust me. And it's not that I'm against pornography. I mean, I'm a guy. And guys need porn. Fact. "Like a preacher needs pain, like a needle needs a vein," Guys need porn. But I don't wanna watch this misogynist he-man woman-hater porn. I want porno movies that are made with guys like me in mind: Guys who know that the sexiest thing in the world is a woman who is smarter than you are. You can have the whole cheerleading squad, I want the girl in the tweed skirt and the horn-rimmed glasses: Betty Finnebowski, the valedictorian. Oh yes. First I want to copy her Trig homework, and then I want to make mad, passionate love to her for hours and hours until she reluctantly asks if we can stop because she doesn't want to miss Battlestar Galactica. Summa cum laude, baby! That is what I call erotic. But do you ever see that kind of a woman in a contemporary adult film? No. Which is why I'm going to start writing and directing Geek Porno. I shall be the quintessential Nerd Porn Auteur. And the women in my porno movies will be the kind that drive nerds like me mad with desire. I'm talking about the girls that used to fuck up the grading curve. The girls in the Latin Club and the National Honor Society. Chicks with weird clothes, braces, four eyes, and 4.0 GPAs. Brainy articulate bookworms, with MENSA cards in their purses and chips on their shoulders. My porn starlets will come in all shapes and sizes. My porn starlets will be too busy working on their PhD to go to the gym. In my kind of porno movies the girls wouldn't even have to get naked. They'd just take the guys down to the rec room and beat them repeatedly at chess and then talk to them for hours about Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle or the underlying social metaphors in the Aliens movies. Buy stock in some hand cream companies because there is about to be a major shortage. And I'm not just talking about straight porn. Oh no. There should be fuck films for my nerd brethren of all sexual orientations. Gay nerd porn flicks with titles like "Dungeons and Drag-queens." This idea is a fucking gold mine. I am gonna make millions, because this country is full of database programmers and electronics engineers and they aren't getting the loving they so desperately need. And you can help . . . If you're an intelligent woman is interested in breaking into the adult film industry, and if you can tell me the name of Luke Skywalker's home planet, then you are hired. It doesn't matter if you think you're overweight or unattractive. It doesn't matter if you don't think you're beautiful. You are beautiful. . . And I will make you a star.