Agent K Sexynator's blog: "So....finally"

6:56 PM - Random memories that make me wish I could turn back time to savor the moments. Before Florida: Playing in the snow with my cousins. Not worrying about tomorrow, just hoping today is the most fun it can be. Teaching my brothers and sisters to do everything. Actually feeling like I meant something to them......except being a ride. Swimming at the Z-pool. Having my three best friends always at my side, always getting into small amounts of trouble. Singing with my dad at 4:30am while we had a bonfire in his front yard and his pet pig was trying to steal my food. Sitting on the rooftop, looking at stars. Having "clubs" in our "fort" in the "woods"..........Derek And Amber will know what I'm talking about. Climbing trees. Getting piggyback rides. Snow days. Playing in the rain. Creating a mud slide in the back yard in the middle of Spring......and sliding down it in a snowsuit. Hanging out in the basement, which was basically a gameroom. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Florida: Dodgeball everyday. Played as a gym required activity. Taking advice from our history teacher, and using it during our dodgeball game.......where we all screamed, yelled...etc as we ran towards our opponents, catching them off gaurd and winning the game. "H" Team! Yeah.... Sleepovers, slumber parties, putting makeup on each other, doing eachothers hair, drawing "tattoos" in permanent marker on eachother. Bithday parties with silly string and a bunch of goofy girls. Building lego houses/mansions with Crystal. Riding the Vo to the beach. Hopping on the trolley and screaming at people on beachside. Driving around with my car full of my friends. Just acting stupid. The pumpkin incedent. Just hanging out. Getting lost on my way to Seaworld...... Actually, ALWAYS getting lost when I went anywhere with April. The Tampa trip. ------------------------------------------------------------------- With Alex: The initial "meeting" where we talked for hours upon hours and never once had an uncomfortable silence. The first time we met. The beach at night. Him holdng my hand.....walking in the rain. His arm around me. Feeling like nothing at that moment could ruin my feeling of happiness. His hugs. His hatred of boobs, and how I thought he was weird because of it. Him deciding he was going to try and kiss me while he drove 50 on Williamson......us swerving into the grass. Laying in bed, snuggling, watching tv. Him remembering things that I'd say in passing and surprising me with something related to it when I least expected it. And the last sweet thing that put my heart in my throat and almost brought me to tears. Slow dancing to " I can't help falling in love with you" at the Moose lodge, while he sang to me.

6:40 PM - This will be hard I'm going to try and write a blog without saying the "F" word. So Parker is getting better. Hey.....ummm K so maybe I don't have much to talk about lately. Everything is the same. The same the same the same. April's trying to have a baby. I feel a little mixed up over that right now. It's like I want her to have one cuz hello.....as her best friend I better be the God-Mother. And it'd be nice to have a baby to steal every once in a while like I used to with Amandas kids. But then I know that thats a very greedy part of me that wants her to have one cuz I know I'M not ready for one of my own yet. But then the other part of me, the more sane one is thinking "wtf? She has the rest of her life....why have a baby at 21?" I can only say that I will be a good friend and be supportive and thats all. She has to make her own decisions, and not have people make them for her all her life. THOUGH I do think maybe she's having them for the wrong reasons. "Because everyone else is"????? Before I have a kid, these are the questions I'm going to ask myself. 1. Am I financially able to raise this child at this point in time? 2. Do I know for certain that Alex is ready to be a Daddy? 3. Am I ready to be a Mommy? 4. Is this what I want for myself right now? 5. Am I ready for my vagina to be ripped/torn apart?......oh the agony. Sorry had to throw that last one in there.

I am so evil. Poor little Erica. Her myspace is all messed up. Her boyfriend somehow got forwarded messages where she talks about cheating on him. The fucking bitch. I just had to gloat and I couldn't do it anywhere else sooooooo.......

4:15 PM - Sad face Slash has been pooping all over the damn place for 3 days now. Parker is sick......she had her apendix taken out and now is in serious pain, and I mean serious. She can't eat and she just keeps crying. Nobody is doing anything to help mom except me and Lisa. The other kids could care less. They have more important shit to worry about (ie. THEMSELVES). Daniel is Jealous of the attention Parker is getting and Erica just doesn't give a shit. What a family unit we have. We're barely squeeking by with bills.....works the fucking same. Everybody sucks. I'm having a bad day and feel like punching SOMEONE in the face, but this feeling has been building up for at least 16 years. Someone start a help Kristiane out with bills fundraiser. Please.

So, people have stopped talking to me on here. I have to stop mentioning the ERECTION cuz my Jenn doesn't even get on anymore. I'm 200 points to upping my cherry status or whatever and it just won't let me get there and I wanted to upload more pics......cuz I hit my limit. :( Plus nobody comments those either. Alex's Mom is doing better though.Meh.....pointless

No it won't. I won't even mention the boner. Stop reading this if that's an issue. So lately I've been feeling a little bit down. It seems like nothing ever goes right. One bad thing after another happens. I try really hard to look at the bright side of things but when you're struggling to pay your bills for 3 months in a row, you stop looking. I don't remember what it feels like to see the sunshine, to not worry. It's not only bills. My mom was in the hospital, now Alex's mom is. There's nothing I can do to make things better. NOTHING! I have done all that I possibly can and it's still not enough. I can't assure Alex that all is well with his mother. All I can do is sit there and hold his hand while his moms laying in a hospital bed. I can't fix all of my moms troubles, thus releasing her from her stress bound existance and not straining her heart. I need to win the lottery. I can't even find an old friend of mine that means the world to me. Stupidly, a year ago I blew him off and now I have no idea how to find him. Matt was like my best friend and I don't think he ever knew it. Just for one day I want to not have to worry.

As I'm sitting here....I feel like I'm sitting sideways on a hill. I don't know why I feel like this. My balance is completely fucked so far today. I almost fell down the stairs and I'm stumbling all over the damn place. I just woke up like this. My dogs are barking at thin air. Me and ALex are going to see his mom in the hospital again today. She's in ICU. She has an overabundance of Lithium in her system....and I'm not sure exactly whats going on. I didn't win the lotto last night. :( If I win the lotto I'll buy everyone I know a cheeseburger. My erection has yet to go away and I haven't heard from my beloved lady lover in 2 days now. I HEART JENN!!!!!!! and the rest of you sexy bitches.

if all Jeffs are balding? Every Jeff I know is. My erection is massive and painful. Jenn, please come and relieve me.

So I figured I might as well write a serious blog for once right? Last night was (mmmm) awesome. I can't stop thinking about how it was the best ever. God. On to another subject, these dogs drive me insane. Me and Alex have this thing. everytime we go somewhere that has a machine where you win the stuffed animal, he wins one for me. So I happen to have a huge collection of stuffed things. Slash got bored last night and decided she was going to pull every single one of them out from the shelf they're on. Here's how I know she's smart......she didn't rip ANY of them to shreds. She did that once with a stuffed frog April got me for V-day and I flipped, so she learned. Instead I'm finding them all over the apartment though. But I knew she did something last night cuz she'll feel guilty and start wimpering. ALL NIGHT this dog went under the bed and wimpered. Normally she sleeps right on top of me (literally). Alex get's his side of the bed, and I get mine, only Dahlia and Slash Sleep on top of my legs, and sometimes boogs AKA Slash sleeps on my stomach. Anyways, work wasn't too bad today. I got another Migraine though but I caught it before it escalated into a sick to my stomach feeling. Jenn gives me boners. Alex wants me to make spaghetti tonight. "with sausage?" Of course. What's life without sausages?