She's not here now. But that's Ok. She doesn't send me heart beats. She flaunts she teases, she turns her head walks away and expects me to follow. But now, I hold hands with some one else. Now I don't play her games. Now if she wants to play she has to come down of her perfect cloud. Still there are no rules that's fine because the only way survive here is if I let you. I am deadly, I am diseased. Does she dare risk infection? I have survived on stolen time. I know I have many things to pay for but I will not pay her. For she wants what she can't have. To be in her debt is to owe her everything, then she consumes you makes it so you can't think straight and can't see what is right in front of your eyes.
I am already sick so I cannot be infected with your ills. I live outside your world. You see me and you quickly look away. Your children do the same. Your whisperings do not reach my ears. I will become your victim. Inside I am hollow. I walk apart from those you encountered before. I will not hold your hand because my hand has already been taken. Love doesn't like a mistress and my mistress does not share me with anyone. She has left her mark on me. What she has rought cannot be undone. You may drive the rest of the world to insanity but not me.
For once my beloved removed the veil from infront of my eyes, I walked headlong into the darkness and into the insanity. I have hate in my heart and you will not remove it. I will not be drowned by your lies. It is my destiny to carry on without you and so I shall. I survive on the razors edge day in and day out. The flood gates of pain are forver open. It's waters flow through me. They carry me where you cannot reach me.
Knock as much as you like but you will not be left in. There will forever be a wall between us. I have my guardians and you will not defeat them for they dispose of you.
Even if some how some way you did make it passed my wall you wouldn't become part of me. I would stare at you blankly and utter un to you "You have brought many to their knees, you have infiltrated the multitudes, you have have defeated them..but you will not defeat me...You are fleeting, you are fantasies sent to blind me. Your fleeting fantasies mean nothing to me. For what resides inside me is real. My scars and my pain tell me so. The blood that flows dark red from my wounds is the antidote to all that you all that you do and are.
I dwell outside your garden. My heart will be kept safe from you. You will not reach it. You have tried but you have failed. I waunder through nightmares where you dare not go. My heart and my soul are spoken for, and they do not speak your lies nor will they ever. You and your children may look down upon me in pitty and call me lost, call me decieved. But know this....Cast your gaze upon me. It will have no effect, I am proctected I am not alone and I am not lost and you will not lay claim to me.