So , i have yet to write a blog. This will be my very first ever. I honestly have no clue why i'm writing this right now ( call it rambling if you want ) , i guess i just need a little bit of an ' out ' (so to speak) . . . So hear i go !
As I lay there in bed , tossing and turning. Thinking and searching. I realized how completely restless i have become. Tormented every hour i'm awake. Tortured while i sleep. And Distracted while i work ... The rules of man : Provide , protect and love (how i see it atleast). Inside : Flames, passion , unconditional love , stability , complete and udder hatred , torment , deep sadness , confused beyond belief and fear. Questions : Is there truely a meaning for life ? What is our purpose ? What do i do now ? How do you make things right ?
I'm sure you have heard the saying " Things work out in the long run " " Things happen for a reason" yada yada yada . Of coarse, everything that happens in your life will without a doubt , make you the person that you are. Man or women , every situation changes you. How many times can one single person change though ? How many times can a person be left with nothing and fear the future of there family , loved ones and themselves ? Month by month and week by week , even day by day your entire life can completely turn around to something you have never expected. How do you deal with this ? Embrace it ? Take it for what it is and make the best out of it ? Let go of all hope and become nothing ? What do you honestly do ? How do you make a decission that can alter the rest of your life ? LoL Full of questions ! This i know ! When the time comes and you get slapped in the face with ' the book of reality ' alot of the time answers seem to just come to you naturally. Granted we are all human, and yes of coarse humans do make mistakes, alot of times things usually do work out for most in the long run ... But tell me this. " Long run " , when does the long run end and how exactly will you know when you have reached it ? Is it when all of your hopes and dreams come true ? ( I sure hope not because that would be just boring!)
About 2 years back i had a dream that i was in the middle of a forest, and i was running toward and object. I don't know what it was , i don't know why i wanted it so so badly but not matter how fast i ran i could not get close to it. I woke up at 1:30 AM ( having to be up for work in 3 hours) with a complete empty feeling , almost as if i had lost something close and sentimental. Ever since that dream i can't shake the feeling of empty and loneliness. Have you ever wanted something so bad, it was just beyond your grasp, so close you can smell it, taste it , see every small detail that you love about it and there was nothing that you could do to pull it in no matter how hard you tried ? Just sit and think about it for a few moments . Rediculous isn't it ?
I guess this is in all honestly total mindless rambling which is why i'm not writing out any more of my thoughts that run through my head constantly.
