JESUS H CHRIST's blog: "Poetry and Lyrics..."

Deconstruct her face to rebuild anew Replace pale skin with grey As eyes of fire turn to ash Together we bled in the twilight Leprosy disintegrated wax-paper souls Most everything I'd held--crumbling We danced as if in love But this was merely a facade To hold us through the longest of days Kissing my black lips made me feel alive Yet still my pulse remained vacant Cutting through my flesh left no blood Just swelling of any other corpse In life I held individuality above all else Now in death all are one

She's cold and dead inside Although her body breathes But she's still got her hate and She still tries to scream She shrieks at the people passing by Trying to tear her way through Claw masks left on many Joy is left in none Please take everything Just fucking take it and leave You smell of death long before your time I'd love to see your face crumble Melting you into the black nothing When you go Not even the hungriest of worms Shall find your rancid corpse suitable Blackened flesh to match your soul She's completely lost herself Into the house of flames Out of our thoughts--entirely

Please: open your eyes Let me know that you still haven't died Because the ground's giving way And the sky's turning downwards This time - don't die - this time I'd martyr myself a thousand times To remove your petty suffering The tedium of life to no longer exist I am the dream's end Awakening to a new light You are there like a jewel Above it all - ablaze Your hands still milky white Reaching for me once more If only I could bring it back I am one, now Alone as always Forever keeps screaming back Like skipping stone ripples in my mind's ocean Children die in the corners of my soul Always receding further from I PLEASE Open your eyes To remind me you've got something inside Please don't die On this final day You will love me again PLEASE Love me again Love me again This our new day Again

There's no use crying over spilt blood So much more I soon shall shed For complacence has made me weary I now force this change All your perversion... I will not partake in this And dying dreams once shared Mean so little to my new mind Watch myself turn from black to white Little left of what once was me Been getting in my own way Time hastened premature decay Years pass in moments within this flesh Tonight I crown death the new bloody king Death to old skin and all that has been For now I am reborn in my own light In my own life I stand as a god amongst men Killing raping the ones that stand below I will now drown you in the flood of my red rage You can taste the ecstasy of a thousand burning suns As the ground reaches up to consume you and those That you once considered dear I drowned everything Lobotomized by my hand I feel your trembling limbs Perish upon this dark day perish under your black sunshine

This man of judgment rots empty by day The anger in his words means little to me Inside the pale facade of riches and life The blackness of his heart presently showing through To bring doom Now Cutting through your vacant body won't hurt Me as much as I hope it hurts you Stop reaching out with your whispers They mean less than your screams You pray as if the words translate to something outside yourself I see things not as you see them But for how they are Turn your back upon the sun for one last time After which I should be alone at last Eternally in my mind No more faces to detract from thoughts Make this mean less each day Blankly you stare at yourself Mirror image should show you the lack of relevance Consume yourself consumer! Open your pockets let us in Open your thighs and fake a grin Open signs even when you turn it around

Paralyzed Feeble shell Within abyss is opening Faces and voices melt from the void becoming one Laid her soul into the ocean of my mind She too drowned I dream of being god Making men march into flames Dieing all in single file Soakened hair and dead angels wings I made her out of all of these Hand crafted in underground caverns And the subterranean lakes of my desire Sacred, she remained there Destroyer fall from the sky Encased in flames to steal away A charcoal sky to kill my glimmer of life When I take the world apart you will be the first to die Stitch bruise appendages Onto this machine I once called my body I am here only to devour I am the flood

Every time your eyes meet mine small children die Shadows, rust, decay Filth of the street will raise its head just to touch you Worth so much now aren't we aren't we Like a junkie willing to say anything to get more Nod your head like a good girl Blackened wings spread into night sky like hooker thighs Before the dawn arrives More scumfuckers more jobs to hate Tedious tasks for those too lazy to qualify themselves for harder work SOMEONE has got to get things together Wait for epiphany to arrive? Not a chance You rot in complacence You and I together my friend Shadows, rust, decay we are All are one When you hear a gunshot you know you could be next Brotherhood of sorts, eh? Come a little closer for an easy escape But you look so lonesome, dear Mine all mine Whore

It's my favorite song of all time. It moves me to tears. I live for it. I will die with it. Opeth- Godhead's Lament Marauder Staining the soil, midst of stillness Beloved fraternity to an end Red eyes probe the scene All the same Stilted for the beholder Depravity from the core Handcarved death in stoneladen aisles I hide the scars from my past Yet they sense my (mute) dirge This is when it all falls apart White hands grasping for straws Sly smile, poisoned glare behind Undisguised manmade nova Mute cry, don't dare to tread Searing beams tracking you down Adoring what never has been Some will bring with them all they have seen Searching my way to perplexion The gleam of her eyes In that moment she knew Thought I could not leave this place On this imminent day As I've reached the final dawn To what's gone astray What would they care if I did stay No-one would know What would they care if I did stay No-one should know Thought I could not leave this place On this imminent day As I've reached the final dawn To what's gone astray What would they care if I did stay No-one would know What would they care if I did stay No-one should know Still brooding, soothing clam That rigid, twisted face Blank godhead, tear my name Lost virtue, frantic lust Sly smile, poisoned glare behind Undisguised manmade nova Mute cry, don't dare to tread Searing beams tracking you down Adoring what never has been Some will bring with them all they have seen Searching my way to perplexion In crumbling faith I saw her Bearing her pain in the wilderness The gleam of her eyes In that moment she knew

Stolen from Heather, of course: Pointless shit about me. [ ] I am shorter than 5'4. [x] I think I'm ugly sometimes. [x] I have many scars. [x] I tan easily. [x] I wish my hair was a different color. [ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color. [ ] I have a tattoo. [x] I am self-conscious about my appearance. [x] have/I've had braces. [ ] wear glasses. [ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100 safe, free of cost, and scar-free. [ ] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger. [ ] I have more than 2 piercings. [ ] I have piercings in places besides my ears. [x] I have freckles. Family/Home Life [x] I've sworn at my parents. [ ] I've run away from home. [ ] I've been kicked out of the house. [ ] My biological parents are together. [ ] I have a sibling less than one year old. [ ] I want to have kids someday. [ ] I've had children. School/Work [x] I'm in school/university [x] I have a job. [x] I've fallen asleep at work/school/college. [x] I almost always do my homework. [x] I've missed a week or more of school/college. [ ] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years. [ ] I failed more than 1 class last year. [ ] I've stolen something from my job [ ] I've been fired. Embarrassment [ ] I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation. [ ] Disney movies still make me cry. [ ] I've peed from laughing. [ ] I've snorted while laughing. [x] I've laughed so hard I've cried. [ ] I've glued my hand to something [ ] I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose. [ ]I've had my pants rip/drop in public Health [ ] I was born with a disease/impairment. [x] I've gotten stitches. [ ] I've broken a bone. [ ] I've had my tonsils removed. [ ] I've sat in a doctors office with a friend. [ ] I've had my wisdom teeth removed. [ ] I had a serious surgery. [x] I've had chicken pox. Traveling [x]I've driven over 200 miles in one day. [x] I've been on a plane. [ ] I've been to Canada. [x] I've been to Mexico. [ ] I've been to Niagara Falls. [x] I've been to Japan. [ ] I've Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans. [ ] I've been to Europe. [ ] I've been to Africa. Experiences [ ] I've gotten lost in my city. [x] I've seen a shooting star. [x] I've wished on a shooting star. [x] I've seen a meteor shower. [x] I've gone out in public in my pajamas. [ ] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator [x] I've kicked a guy where it hurts. [ ] I've been to a casino. [ ] I've been skydiving. [ ] I've gone skinny dipping. [ ] I've played spin the bottle. [ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour. [ ] I've crashed a car. [ ] I've been Skiing [x] I've been in a play. [x] I've met someone in person from the internet. [ ] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue. [ ] I've seen the Northern Lights. [ ] I've sat on a roof top at night. [ ] I've played chicken. [x] I've played a prank on someone. [x] I've ridden in a taxi. [x] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show. [x] I've eaten Sushi. [ ] I've been snowboarding. Relationships [x] I'm single [ ] I'm in a relationship. [ ] I'm engaged. [ ] I'm married. [ ] I've gone on a blind date. [ ] I've been the dumpee more than the dumper. [x] I miss someone right now. [x] I have a fear of abandonment. [ ] I've gotten divorced [x] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back. [x] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't. [x] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did. [x] I've kept something from a past relationship. Sexuality [x] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex [ ] I've had a crush on a teacher. [x] I am a cuddler. [ ] I've been kissed in the rain. [ ] I've hugged a stranger. [ ] I have kissed a stranger. Honesty/Crime [x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't [x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't. [ ] I've snuck out of my house. [x] I have lied to my parents about where I am. [ ] I am keeping a secret from the world. [x] I've cheated while playing a game. [ ] I've cheated on a test. [ ] I've run a red light. [x] I've been suspended from school. [x] I've witnessed a crime. [ ] I've been in a fist fight. [ ] I've been arrested. [ ] I've shoplifted. Drugs/Alcohol [x] I've consumed alcohol. [ ] I regularly drink. [ ] I've passed out from drinking. [ ] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months. [x] I've smoked weed [ ] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them. [ ] I've eaten shrooms. [ ] I've popped E. [x] I've inhaled Nitrous. [ ] I've done hard drugs. [ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick. [ ] I can't swallow pills. [ ] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem [x] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression. [ ] I shut others out when I'm depressed. [ ] I take anti-depressants. [ ] I'm anorexic or bulimic. [x] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it. [ ] I've hurt myself on purpose. [ ] I'm addicted to self harm. [ ] I've woken up crying. Death and Suicide [x] I'm afraid of dying. [x] I hate funerals. [ ] I've seen someone dying. [x] Someone close to me has attempted suicide. [x] Someone close to me has committed suicide. [x] I've planned my own suicide. [ ] I've attempted suicide. [ ] I've written a eulogy for myself. Materialism [ ] I own over 5 rap CDs. [ ] i own iPod or MP3 player. [ ] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga. [ ] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece. [x] I own something from Hot Topic. [ ] I own something from Pac Sun. [ ] I collect comic books. [ ] I own something from The Gap. [ ] I own something I got on e-bay. [ ] I own something from Abercrombie. Random [x] I can sing well. [ ] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant. [x] I open up to others easily. [ ] I watch the news. [x] I don't kill bugs. [ ] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme. [x] I curse regularly. [x] I sing in the shower. [ ] I am a morning person. [x] I paid for my cell phone ring tone. [x] I'm a snob about grammar. [ ] I am a sports fanatic. [x] I twirl my hair [ ] I have "x"s in my screen name [x] I love being neat [ ] I love Spam [ ] I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day [ ] I bake well. [ ] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue. [ ] I would wear pajamas to school. [ ] I like Martha Stewart. [ ] I know how to shoot a gun. [ ] I am in love with love. [ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS. [x] I laugh at my own jokes. [ ] I eat fast food weekly. [x] I believe in ghosts. [ ] I am online 24/7, even as an away message. [ ] I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class. [ ] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room. [x] I am really ticklish. [x] I love white chocolate [ ] I bite my nails. [x] I play video games. [x] I'm good at remembering faces. [x] I'm good at remembering names [x] I'm good at remembering dates. [x] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. [x] My answers are totally honest

This is the color of forever The same as the ocean the same as the seed Which he violently throws into her deadwomb All is void as the black between her thighs Cutting pieces away from you Is this aggression or some sick new fetish Two are left with the scars of her flesh Can you not see the suffering Hidden behind the apathetic veil Shrouding her dirty face Everyone who comes here Comes here to die Everyone that falls in love with him Is falling in love with a lie Drowning down the worries with another glass of wine yes, of course, Im married, but her body is divine. Put your mouth up to her ear as if it were a shell The so called sweet nothings you whisper will send you straight to hell Teach you how to love your life With rules that dont apply to me A gutter drunk in a beautiful house Souls starvation has left a blackened husk With which to roam this earth In retrospect, One more belt notch Will never separate you from the mass In fact, good sir (the) sole monument Erected in your name Will be your rancid phallus Disco down He thinks hes a casanova Charmless fucking imbecile They only like you for your money And if there was an ounce of goodness We wouldnt see it anyway Because of all your past doings Present kindness is ignored And when the drinks have left his system Who will be laying by your side Certainly not that bitter old woman Who was once a happy bride Dust and shadows begin to circle This is the end of all time Red faced pales and searches As he walks alone Dying in the grey surrounding